My husband recently separated from the Air Force after a long 10 years of active duty. Before we move into our new home in Colorado, we stopped in Kansas to visit my family for a few weeks. It's been a long time since we've been home, so it seemed like a good idea to spend some time visiting everyone, hanging out, and enjoying the fresh air.
Although I sorted through most of our things before we moved and downsized quite a bit, we still had a lot of boxes when we arrived in Kansas. Instead of waiting until we move into our house in Colorado, I decided to start sorting through everything. If you haven't moved recently or if you've never moved, it's really incredible how many things you can accumulate in a short period of time.
Going through box after box, I had to ask myself "Why do I have this?" More importantly, "Do I need this?" and "Will I use this again?"
I tend to donate most of my used items to local charities and thrift shops, but there are many, many options when it comes to downsizing your home. For example, you can use a website like MusicMagpie to sell your used DVDs for cash. This is a great option for stay-at-home moms and home school moms since this means you can make a little money from the convenience of your home.
Regardless of what you want to get rid of or which rooms you want to de-clutter, just remember to take it slow. It's not a race and there is plenty of time to go through all of the items you need to sort. Unfortunately, even things like home school books or art supplies can become clutter if they aren't organized or if you simply have too much stuff you don't use. Don't be afraid to get rid of things. You can start with one thing at a time and gradually work your way up to more.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
How important is Mother's Day?
Mother's Day is one of those holidays I always have a tough time with.
It's not that I don't like being a mother or that I don't like my own mother, but that I dislike the idea that if your child doesn't get you something on a specific day that they somehow don't love or appreciate you.
Forced gifts are not the kind I want.
I would much rather have a surprise gift when I'm least expecting it just "because" then a gift someone was forced to go look for and pick out something random that I ought to like.
This Mother's Day I got to spend with my mom and Grandma. It was the first time in eight years I've spent this holiday around my mom. I had a great time hanging out, playing board games, and sharing stories. The kids ran around, everyone had a great meal, and the conversation was wonderful.
But then came time for the gifts.
And it was really, really obvious which kids didn't give which mom a gift.
So I've been thinking: how important is a Mother's Day gift and why?
Should you actually be forced to give someone a gift just because Hallmark wants you to? Wouldn't it be better to actually do something with your mom just because you like being around her and not because everyone else in the world is doing something? And is it really fair to have a holiday that reminds mothers worldwide about the children they've lost or that reminds women of the children they'll never have?
It's not that I don't like being a mother or that I don't like my own mother, but that I dislike the idea that if your child doesn't get you something on a specific day that they somehow don't love or appreciate you.
Forced gifts are not the kind I want.
I would much rather have a surprise gift when I'm least expecting it just "because" then a gift someone was forced to go look for and pick out something random that I ought to like.
This Mother's Day I got to spend with my mom and Grandma. It was the first time in eight years I've spent this holiday around my mom. I had a great time hanging out, playing board games, and sharing stories. The kids ran around, everyone had a great meal, and the conversation was wonderful.
But then came time for the gifts.
And it was really, really obvious which kids didn't give which mom a gift.
So I've been thinking: how important is a Mother's Day gift and why?
Should you actually be forced to give someone a gift just because Hallmark wants you to? Wouldn't it be better to actually do something with your mom just because you like being around her and not because everyone else in the world is doing something? And is it really fair to have a holiday that reminds mothers worldwide about the children they've lost or that reminds women of the children they'll never have?
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Don't you constantly question your value - like why was I so easy to cast aside?
A recent blog post has sparked some controversy thanks to Facebook and Twitter shares, and a lot of people are asking whether the writer has it right. Should marriage be a 10 year contract? Should marriage be something you can easily get out of if the goals aren't met? Should marriage be something you can pinpoint the exact and precise purpose of and easily walk away if you don't get what you want?
As a teenager and even during the first years of my marriage, I firmly believed that you should forgive until it hurts and then forgive some more. Marriage is mostly, in my experience, about hanging out and forgiving each other.
I have made my husband more angry than he ever thought possible. I have hurt him more deeply than anyone else has. I have been mean, evil, and horrible. I have been rotten. I have behaved in ways that any other man would have long ago walked away from, but he hasn't.
Why not?
Because he loves me. And he chose the path of forgiveness.
I wonder if marriage fails so often because it becomes less about loving the other person and more about seeking personal happiness. I can honestly say that if my husband had walked away during our dark times that I wouldn't know or understand what it truly means to be unconditionally loved. It's during those bad times, those dark times, those times where you feel like nothing could possibly hurt as bad as this, that you learn the most about what marriage really means.
Marriage means sticking it out, sucking it up, and scooping yourselves back up.
It means loving even when the person you love has failed you completely. It means sticking by their side even when you don't understand what they're going through or why they do the things they do. It means giving yourself completely to the other person even when everyone else in the world thinks you're crazy.
It means giving up your life for someone else.
And if you take that away, if you strip away that raw dedication and loyalty, what are you left with? If you have a contractual marriage that enables you to walk away after 10 years with no strings attached, what then? Why not just date and break up instead of waiting the full 10 years? Why even bother?
I'm not saying that divorce doesn't have its place. I'm not saying that there aren't valid reasons for dissolving a marriage. There are. There are many good reasons for walking away but there are also many selfish reasons for walking away. Sometimes in life it is okay to be selfish, but marriage is supposed to be about more than that. It's supposed to be something that shapes you into a better person, something that molds you into someone new, someone stronger.
Wouldn't a contractual marriage strip away all that? Wouldn't it strip away the dedication and the loyalty? Wouldn't it strip away the commitment? After all, if the person you're married to makes you mad enough, you can just dissolve the marriage. No strings attached.
Love isn't supposed to be about no strings attached. Love is supposed to be about all the strings attached. It's supposed to be something you feel. It's supposed to be that raw pain you get from ripping your heart out and giving it to another person. It's about the emotions, it's about the dedication, it's about the laughter and it's about the aching.
Love is the core of what makes us human.
Why do we try to strip that away?
You cannot have a marriage without emotion. You cannot have a true, passionate love knowing the other person might leave at any time to find someone better, someone more amazing than you.
And what happens at the 10 year mark? What happens when one person waited those 10 years diligently, giving up everything and anything to be with you, to stay with you, to make things work and to make things better? And what happens when you don't feel the same way? When you're counting down the days til you can legally walk away hassle-free, stress-free, obligation-free?
What is that going to do to us?
Don't you constantly question your value - like why was I so easy to cast aside?
As a teenager and even during the first years of my marriage, I firmly believed that you should forgive until it hurts and then forgive some more. Marriage is mostly, in my experience, about hanging out and forgiving each other.
I have made my husband more angry than he ever thought possible. I have hurt him more deeply than anyone else has. I have been mean, evil, and horrible. I have been rotten. I have behaved in ways that any other man would have long ago walked away from, but he hasn't.
Why not?
Because he loves me. And he chose the path of forgiveness.
I wonder if marriage fails so often because it becomes less about loving the other person and more about seeking personal happiness. I can honestly say that if my husband had walked away during our dark times that I wouldn't know or understand what it truly means to be unconditionally loved. It's during those bad times, those dark times, those times where you feel like nothing could possibly hurt as bad as this, that you learn the most about what marriage really means.
Marriage means sticking it out, sucking it up, and scooping yourselves back up.
It means loving even when the person you love has failed you completely. It means sticking by their side even when you don't understand what they're going through or why they do the things they do. It means giving yourself completely to the other person even when everyone else in the world thinks you're crazy.
It means giving up your life for someone else.
And if you take that away, if you strip away that raw dedication and loyalty, what are you left with? If you have a contractual marriage that enables you to walk away after 10 years with no strings attached, what then? Why not just date and break up instead of waiting the full 10 years? Why even bother?
I'm not saying that divorce doesn't have its place. I'm not saying that there aren't valid reasons for dissolving a marriage. There are. There are many good reasons for walking away but there are also many selfish reasons for walking away. Sometimes in life it is okay to be selfish, but marriage is supposed to be about more than that. It's supposed to be something that shapes you into a better person, something that molds you into someone new, someone stronger.
Wouldn't a contractual marriage strip away all that? Wouldn't it strip away the dedication and the loyalty? Wouldn't it strip away the commitment? After all, if the person you're married to makes you mad enough, you can just dissolve the marriage. No strings attached.
Love isn't supposed to be about no strings attached. Love is supposed to be about all the strings attached. It's supposed to be something you feel. It's supposed to be that raw pain you get from ripping your heart out and giving it to another person. It's about the emotions, it's about the dedication, it's about the laughter and it's about the aching.
Love is the core of what makes us human.
Why do we try to strip that away?
You cannot have a marriage without emotion. You cannot have a true, passionate love knowing the other person might leave at any time to find someone better, someone more amazing than you.
And what happens at the 10 year mark? What happens when one person waited those 10 years diligently, giving up everything and anything to be with you, to stay with you, to make things work and to make things better? And what happens when you don't feel the same way? When you're counting down the days til you can legally walk away hassle-free, stress-free, obligation-free?
What is that going to do to us?
Don't you constantly question your value - like why was I so easy to cast aside?
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Planes!
Are you planning to take your kids to see the new Disney movie Planes? If so, check out these free coloring pages kids of all ages will love. You can print them out at home for free.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
What you learn on a farm
Sometimes the things you learn on a farm are the things you least expected to. Today my family visited an old friend and her two beautiful children. My son pointed out the window and said, "Look at the cows!" My friend's son responded with, "That's actually a bull."
It begged the question: What did my kids learn living in the city?
Seriously, think about it for a moment. My kids, in our city life, learned very few useful skills that are specific to living in the city. Sure, they can use coupons and bake, but so can farm kids. Farm kids, on the other hand, can also feed livestock, clean cages, explain how to keep a cow healthy and much more.
I'm curious to see what else we'll get to learn living on a farm this summer. So far on our list we have:
-Plant a garden
-Take care of the garden
-Learn to take care of the chickens
-Learn boating safety
It begged the question: What did my kids learn living in the city?
Seriously, think about it for a moment. My kids, in our city life, learned very few useful skills that are specific to living in the city. Sure, they can use coupons and bake, but so can farm kids. Farm kids, on the other hand, can also feed livestock, clean cages, explain how to keep a cow healthy and much more.
I'm curious to see what else we'll get to learn living on a farm this summer. So far on our list we have:
-Plant a garden
-Take care of the garden
-Learn to take care of the chickens
-Learn boating safety
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